Letter No. 11: A deceased person I wish I could talk to

[This post is part of my Life List #58 and the 30 Letters in 30 Days Challenge.]

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For a very long time, I spent my life hating you and being mad at you.

When I heard that you had passed away, I felt pretty angry because I felt that death had handed you an easy-way-out card [when it comes to me], after all I had so much I needed to interrogate you about.

It was only after I had worked through those emotions that I realized that it was so sad that you left too soon. That this was truly a great loss for me, but also for you.

I'm told you were a pretty decent person. I wish I had been more receptive and open to see this side of you. It genuinely warms my heart to know that not everyone saw you like I did.

Although I do have lots of unanswered questions and some things are still unclear, I have forgiveness in my heart for you. I let go of that hope that I had desperately clutched onto that the past could've been any different. It's such a beautiful feeling when it happens.

Without realizing it, you taught me one of my life's greatest lessons that I cherish - that I tend to hold back a lot and that I should give that habit up. I now know that in this life you have to share your heart with those love and you have to share it now.

Love always.