Why is it that when someone we love doesn't share a difficult experience their going through or that they went through until after, we get upset at them for not sharing it? Isn't this going to alienate them further? We stay in that place of "how could you not say anything" or "you could have said something..." and we make it about ourselves rather than be empathetic to what they could have been going through? I guess maybe it's our guilt [from a good place] that causes people to sometimes be like that.
I don't know.
Trust Building Exercise: Next time we find something out about our loved one's difficult past experience(s), perhaps we should;
- just take a step back, this isn't about you
- listen and
- be empathetic rather than judgemental
- learn something about your behaviour/ character, that could make it hard for someone to feel comfortable opening up and delete it (or at least be mindful of the role you play in the process).
otherwise next time they might won't share anything.